my birthday month

my birthday month is almost over. yes, i turned 30. i'm so proud of my age. i look older but my mind and heart are younger than you thought.

its quite a catch for me. i did a lot of new things this month. abay sa kasal ni geg, had my first company laptop, had my first wireless mouse, had my first free run for the year, had first run with tina, my girlfriend met tina for the first time as well.

so many firsts, you know what's to top them all? i have everyone here inside my heart. i love the girls of my life - my mom, my sisters and my girl...

happy birthday to me!

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april 28

six months and its getting strong...

i almost forgot it. ALMOST. hehehe...she asked me to meet her early morning. then she gave me something i know its food. i told my self..."Oh my! She's really in loved with me."...

yes. i love her so much, in return. i am so lucky to have her beside me that day...

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kid inside the green sidecar

isa sa pinaka-ayaw ko ay yung feeling na sobrang blessed mo dahil sa nag-hihirap yung iba. sa tingin ko kasi, di mo kailangan ang ibang tao para maramdaman mo na mapalad ako dahil sa maayos ang aking pamumuhay...

pero, yun yung naramdaman ka kagabi. nag-prepare kami sa bahay kagabi - ang team "couple". we are four in a group - my and my girlfriend and kuya jhing and ate mimi. then, mga pass 10 na kami natapos. hinatid ko yung girlfriend ko sa bahay nila then had a little chat.

nung pauwi na ako, napa-sakay ako sa sidecar na malapit sa mercury drug. ang nasakyan kong pedicab ay isang pedicab na green. may natutulog na bata sa loob. pilit na ginising ng driver (tatay nung bata) yung kanyang anak. lumipat naman yung bata pero makikita mo na sobrang antok pa siya.

the kid was roughly 7 to 9 years old. nakita kong wala siyang sapin sa paa, napakarumi ng mga ito. parang ilang araw na di nag-huhugas. madungis sya, mistulang pinahiran ng uling ang kanyang mga braso at mukha. naka-pikit pa sya at hahapay-hapay sa kanyang pagkakaupo. at isa sa kapansin-pansin talaga sa kanya ay ang baho nya. sorry, mabaho talaga siya. mapanghi.

i don't wanna see kids na may ganung features. naaawa ako. sobrang babaw ng mata ko sa mga ganung bagay. i dont wanna cry. i wanted to help and do something but i am helpless. suddenly, i realized na napaka-swerted ko talaga dahil si Delilah R. Pugay at Herminio B. Alejo ang mga magulang ko. pinalaki nila ako ng maayos at matiwasay.

i felt guilty, i judged the kid. binigay ko na lang sa driver yung sukli sa pera ko. at least, i did something. i know its not enough, pero at least i helped.

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ANTI-RH Bill

Sino ba naman ang ayaw na mag-karoon ng maayos at matiwasay na pamilya?

Sino ba naman ang ayaw na mapag-tapos ang kani-kanilang mga anak?

Sino ba naman ang ayaw na mag-karoon ng ma-aluwal na pamumuhay?

Hindi ako. Sa tuwinang nakakakita ako ng mga batang nasa lansangan, ang lagi kong nasa isip ay – “Nasaan ba ang mga magulang ng mga batang ito?”. Wala pa akong anak o pamilya ngunit alam ko na responsibilidad ng mga magulang na bigyan ng mga pangunahing pangangailangan ang kanilang mga anak. Edukasyon, pagkain, bahay, ma-susuot at gamot. Ito yung mga bagay na kailangan ng mga bata. Mahirap bang ibigay ito? Di ko alam. Di ko pa masabi. Ayaw kong maiiwas kayo (bilang mambabasa) sa kung ano ang isyu dito.

Unang tanong, bakit mag-aanak ang isang mag-asawa kung di naman nila kayang buhayin ang kanilang mga anak? Kung wala silang hanap-buhay? Kung wala silang pinag-kakakitaan? Sagot ay hindi ko din alam. Di ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip nila.

Ikalawang tanong, bakit kailangan magkaroon ng mga dalagang ina? Mga nag-sisimula pa lang sa kanilang buhay ay may anak na? Mga taong may gatas pa sa labi ay tatlo o apat na ang anak. Kinakati lang ba sila? Sagot ko ay hindi ko din alam.

Ikatlong tanong, bakit may mga taong nagugutom? Bakit maraming tao ang walang-wala at salat sa pag-kain? Sagot ko ay hindi ko din alam. Di pa naman ako nililipasana ng pag-kain. Nagigipit din kami minsan ngunit di pa naman kami sumablay kumain.

Marahil, di ko pa nakikita ang problema. Marahil di ko pa nauungkat kung ano ang dapat at ano ang  kasalukuyang sitwasyon. Huling tanong ko na ito, masasagot ba ang kahirapan sa pag-patay ng isang musmos sa tyan ng ina? Masasagot ba ang issue sa trabaho ng pag-gamit ng condom? Masasagot ba ang issue sa pabahay ng simpleng pag-inom ng pills? Ang sagot ko, HINDI.

Ang ugat ng lahat ng mga kahirapan ay korupsyon sa gobyerno. Pagiging ganid ng mga tao. Sakim sa kayamanan at sa kapangyarihan. Ang sagot sa kahirapan ay i-repaso ang mga nasa gobyerno. Natatawa ako sa sinabi nga isang babae sa isang panayam, mas bigyan natin ng pag-asa ang mga batang nasa tyan pa lamang kaysa sa mga taong korap sa gobyerno…sila ang dapat patayin.

Simpleng pamumuhay at pag-talima sa utos ng Diyos. Mga bagay na kailangan nating dapat tandaan.

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if i ever lose my faith in you by sting

a good and sweet song...


"If I Ever Lose My Faith In You"

You could say I lost my faith in science and progress
You could say I lost my belief in the holy church
You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse but

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I'd lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But every time I close my eyes I see your face

I never saw no miracle of science
That didn't go from a blessing to a curse
I never saw no military solution
That didn't always end up as something worse but
Let me say this first

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do 

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holy week is over

holy week is over. yes. i'll say this is one of the most boring holy week. we didn't have veneration of the cross and easter vigil celebration. seems like it's not a holy week.

my girlfriend isn't around either. she spent week with her friend in nueva ecija.

nonetheless, we spent the washing of the feet in ate evelyn tamio's place. the food is fantastic. also, i felt so happy when kuya jhing and ate mimi were there. =) . and...and...i cried while sharing my thoughts. lol! see my previous post.

friday is awesome! we had visita iglesia. it was my first time with my community. surely, we'll do another like this next year.

saturday is just almost a rest day for me. almost? i did some assessment outcomes ahehehe...i hate it but guess no choice. after the 8 pm mass, we had a little get together (community 2) @ kuya jhing's place. the food is fantastic and awesome.

sunday, sunday. a day with tina and tamtam. yes. my girlfriend finally met them. my treasured friend. =) ...

it's almost boring but i guess its not "what you do" its "what you learn"...

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mag-ibigan kayo

...an excerpt sa ibinahagi ko kanina...

tatayo ako dahil sa national flag yung suot ko (referring to my phil national flag shirt). nung nag-intro si ate lot, naisip ko na na para sa akin tong salita na ito. at nung na-realize ko na ako yung mag-babasa ay natuwa ako. yung ibang tao nirereklamo at nagtatanong kung paano ko nila mamamahalin yung kanilang ka-community or paano nila tatanggapin yung ka-community nila, pero ako sobra kong mahal ang ka-community ko. sobra kong mahal yung community ko at unti unti akong nalulungkot at nasasaktan kung nababawasan kami.

dumaan din naman ako sa panahon na ayaw ko yung community ko. pero natutunan ko silang mahalin. at sabi ko nga, naiinis ako o nagagalit sa mga taong nawawala sa daan. galit ako kina anchit, albert at michael dahil feeling ko iniwan nila ako. sa totoo lang si ako at si ate melda na lang ang nandito sa original community namin. si jasmin, kung napapansin nyo wala siya dito. di ko kasi kayang sabihin sa kanya na bumalik ka sa daan. alam ko na ang daan o pagbalik sa Diyos ay laging depende sa tao. di ko ugaling utusan yung mga kapatid ko na gawin nyo ito or gawin nyo yan.

naiinis ako at nagagalit dahil sa wala akong magawa. at ngayon, ano? alam kong may mababawas pa rin sa amin community. at sa salita ngayon, mag-ibigan kayo. sinasabi ko sa community ko na mahal na mahal ko sila. sobrang mahal at kinukuha ko ang oportunidad na ito para masabi sa kanila yun.

sa totoo lang, sa opisina ay laging may oportunidad na bumalik sa estados unidos. ngunit di ko balak pa munang kuhanin. di dahil sa ayaw ko yung community ko sa estados unidos ngunit alam kong nandito sa community ko yung puso ko, di lang na kay floor, kundi nasa ka-community ko din. at sobra ko silang mahal ay nahihirapan akong pakawalan sila. yun lang. 

iyak ako ng iyak habang sinasabi ko ito. alam kasi ng mga ka-community ko ang pinag-daraanan namin. di ko pedeng sabihin dito pero alam ko alam nila yun...

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ouch!

its gone...i thought its going to be easy but loosing something that you've been keeping is something...argh!

yesterday, i let my mom pay a huge amount of money for my dream...it's really hard to dream and focus on getting that dream. yeah! i've been dreaming to see the pope and wanting to go to spain. and when i heard that the pope is going to madrid for world youth day, i say "this is it, pansit!"...

so why am making a lot of "reklamo" if it is for my dream? hhmm...nothing, its just that there are a lot of people na di kumakain dito sa pilipinas. people with nothing to eat and no one to care. anyways, this is for my dream. i still have a lot of things to do and explore and to know about what i believe in. this is me, if want to change the world, i should start with me...

madrid! wait for me...

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loosing the other half of your life

it was confirmed. sumakabilang bahay na talaga ang kaibigan ko. iba na ang kinakasama nyang babae...

di ko alam ang sasabihin ko. sobrang affected ako dahil na rin siguro close yung mag-asawa sa akin. pero kailangan kong maging matatag. luckily, my girlfriend is there with me. we talked about the details and iniisip na lang namin na they really have their flaws.

in as much as i wanted to save their marriage but for me
...why prolong the agony? 
...what's the easiest way to break somebody's heart? 
...is it over?
...where do broken hearts go?

i guess, depende na lang siguro kung saang perspective natin titingnan ang mga pangyayari. for me, i still value the marriage. however, someone should know the boundary between real life and a fairy tale. people should still have their own identity and if that identity can be found by loosing the other half of your life, someone has to let go...

so sad but so true...

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photobooth...

                                    

i love photo booth. at nung nagkaroon ng photo booth sa wedding cousin ko, this is it! lol!

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john christian david and jay arsenio pamilacan

sila yung mga kasama ko sa bahay sa chicago...kung kailangan may kasama ako ulit sa bahay, sila yung gusto kong kasama ulit. hahaha...

night outs, lunch time, work from home, groceries, linis time, gala, out of states, wii time, movie watching and of course church time...

hhaayy...last april 8, it was jay's last day sa accenture. it was hard for me dahil wala ako nung day na yun dahil sa aking check up. i wasn't able to see him. we've been partners in crime for the past 6 years. lol! grabe. pero sabi nga nya, need to move on and explore some possibilities outside our so called accenture life.

john's last day in manila ay kahapon. he was on gcp assignment ulit and by this time nasa eroplano pa sya papuntang chicago. he's one of those people na tutulong sa iyo in times of trouble. you can really depend on him. he's a movie fanatic as well, he introduced me to the k-world (korean world) and he thought me a lot of things in the tech world.

hhaayy...isa ulit deep sigh! we've been in so many troubles and tribulations. pero we've bonded together pa rin. go go go! we need to move on and reach for our dreams. lagi akong masaya para sa inyo. kung ano man yung tinatahak ninyong landas. alam ko, you guys are happy for me, too.

'till we meet again!? ingat kayo lagi!

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God Gave Me You

God Gave Me You
Bryan White

For all times I felt cheated, I complained
You know how I love to complain
For all the wrongs I repeated, though I was to blame
I still cursed that rain
I didn't have a prayer, didn't have a clue
Then out of the blue

God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life than just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why
Now I do, 'cause God gave me you

For all the times I wore my self pity like a favorite shirt
All wrapped up in that hurt
For every glass I saw, I saw half empty
Now it over flows like a river through my soul
From every doubt I had, I'm finally free
And I truly believe

God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life than just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why
Now I do, 'cause God gave me you

In your arms I'm someone new
With every tender kiss from you
I must confess, I've been blessed

God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life than just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why
Now I do, 'cause God gave me you
God gave me you

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ano ang mas importante?

isang malalim na buntong hininga. yan na lang ang magagawa ko ngayon.

daming gastusin. di ko maisa-isa sa dami. daming nangangailangan nang kung ano ano. di ko din maisa-isa dahil baka may masaktan. pero ano ba talaga ang mahalaga? di na lang ako magsasalita.

alam ko ang importante ngunit nagpapadala pa rin ako sa kung ano ang tawag ng mundo. mahirap talagang tumanggi sa mga bagay na di mo matanggihan.

nasabi ko na ang dapat kong masabi. tama na yun...

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hyundai fun run

ok...i'll give it a 9.5 out of 10.

with tina and jessie experience.

yes! they started running a few months ago. i guess they are enjoying it. it was our first time to run in the same event and i felt so elated seeing both of them early in the morning. i even called tina twice or thrice just to make sure that i am going to see them. we even warmed up together. its so cool!

facilities.

oh my! i never thought that hyundai fun run is so good. 20,000 ++ people running for free. what will you expect? honestly, i don't know. but you know what? it exceeded my expectations. enough portalets for men and women. they are all clean. enough water for the runners. not just enough but more than enough. and the marshalls! oh men!? there are marshalls to help you everywhere. ambulances are also scattered along the roxas blvd.

grabe talaga! hindi tinipid. at ito ang pinaka-gusto ko. may baggage counter! nag-sisi tuloy ako na di ako nagdala ng gamit or even an extra shirt. lol! inaasahan ko kasi na wala dahil nga libre. pero grabe! pinag-kagastusan talaga.

experience.

di masyadong maganda. ehehehe...dahil na rin sa dami ng tao, medyo dikit dikit ang mga tao kaya di makatakbo ng maayos. pangit tuloy yung oras ko. lol!

lastly, there are a lot of people who do not know the some basic etiquettes. as in!? lalampasan ka nila na parang wala lang. di sila concern kung muntik ka nang matalisod o madapa dahil sa kanila. hhaayy!? now i appreciate ethics! ethics! and ethics!

di b!? pero sabi ko nga, sover fun pa rin yung experience! sover organized and awesome, period. thanks hyundai!

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