is He calling me to become a better person?

it was early in the morning. someone texted me. i thought it was my girlfriend. time says it 7.17 AM. too early for 8 am but too late for 6 am. so its not her. so, who is this person who dared to disturb my sleep? 

its my uncle. my dad's brother. here's his message:

musta na kayong lahat jan? parang di ko kayang tanggapin na dalawang buwan na lang ang buhay. pinanghihinaan na ako ng loob. araw araw humihina ako. ang huling tulong na hihingin ko sa yo ay tulungan mo tiyo efren sa gamot ko. para di ako masyadong maghirap bago ako mawala. kay tiyo efren mo ipadala ang pang-gamot. may 600 pa dito perang padala ibili ko ngayon ng gamot at ang matitira ay panggastos. sana tulongan mo pa ako. ingat sa trabaho mo god b.

wow! it's a tear-jerking message asking someone for help. hhaayy. my uncle efren gave him a lot of chances - he gave him a jeepney, a place to stay, money, etc. but everything went to nothing. and he is back to ground zero. as in zero. going back to his mmk-like message, i was caught in the middle of truth versus being good, of being honest versus being tact, of moving on and acceptance versus going back to zero and bitterness.

i see my father in him. they are just half brothers but he looks like my dad. thin, frailty body. big round eyes with thick eyebrows. i hate him because i could not hate him - parang The Mistress lang. LOL! trapped in the middle of nowhere, i found myself numb. trying myself not to talk and reply back. but here's what i should have replied back:

ok naman po kami. kaynino nyo naman po nalaman na 2 months na lang kayo mabubuhay? sino pong doctor ang nagsabi sa inyo ng kalokohang iyan? Diyos ba siya? di natin malalaman kung kailan tayo kukuhanin ng Diyos. kaya wala po kayong karapatang magsalita ng ganyan. sa halip po, dapat at pasalamatan nyo yung Diyos dahil may mga tumutulong pa po sa inyo. di tulad ng ginawa nyong pang-iiwan sa daddy ko nung nasa ospital siya. nasaan po kayo nun? tanging gusto lang po ng daddy ko ay makita kayong mga kapatid nya. wala po siyang interes sa pera nyo o kung ano man ibibigay nyo. presence nyo lang po hinihingi nya, hindi nyo pa po mapagbigyan. kayo po nanghihingi pa ng pera.

full of bitterness right? truth is i don't like to help him. but i think this is what i should do. so, is He calling me to become a better person? i think yes. calling me to become a better person. prayer is all i need. again, relieving to my thoughts that - There are times when you have to say NO in the things that you have been dreaming to say YES.

this is from here.

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Posted in: anger,drama,faith,moving on