pagkakatiwala ko na lang sa bangkero

ngayon lang yung pagkakataon na mag-susulat ako nang di ko alam kung ano ang isusulat ko. kadalasan, may iniisip na akong paksa o isang pangyayari na nais kong ibahagi. ngunit sa pag-kakataon na ito ay tuluyan nang hinigop nang hangin ang nais kong sabihin. kaya ito na lang...

kanina, nagkaroon ulit ako ng pagkakataon na kausapin ang isa sa pinag-kakapitaganan kong "team lead" - walang halong biro ito kapitaga-pitagan talaga siya. naibahagi ko ang mga nasa isip ko nung mga nakaraang araw at binigyan nya ako ng isang matinong pag-iisip ngayon. sa totoo lang alam ko na hindi ko dapat iniisip ang maaaring masamang mangyari sa akin - alam ko yun. pero nandito lagi itong "team lead" ko na ito para paalalahanan ako.

siguro, panahon na. panahon na para labanan ang agos ng mundo.
...panahon na para labanan ang "entropy" ng pag-iisip ko.
...panahon na para abutin ang "fugacity coefficient" upang maging kaaya aya ang pag-iisip ko.
...panahon na para gumawa ng desisyon at pumili sa keto-enol tautomerism.

hhhhaaaayyy...ipagkakatiwala ko na lang lahat ng desisyon ko...pag-kakatiwala ko na lang sa bangkero...

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that's what you get

for the very first time, in my entire history of playing rock band, I was able to get a perfect score - 100 % - using the bass... and the song is That's What You Get...

hahaha...i am just happy.

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attitude of the heart...

ang ganda ng naging sermon ni father eric kanina sa penitential celebration...attitude of the heart.

malamit akong nakakagawa ng pagkakamali o kasalanan...pero ano nga ba ang nagiging attitude of the heart ko sa tuwina akong nagkakaroon ng kasalanan? nagiging arogante o nagiging maluwag ang pagtanggap na kasalanan mo talaga...

hirap minsan matanggap na may mali ka. pero kailangan di ba? naisip ko kanina ang nangyari sa akin ng mga nakaraang araw na kung saan nag-mukmok ako dahil alam ko na tama ako pero naging mali yung reaksyon ko...sa isang banda, natanggap ko na pero mas lumuwag ang loob ko kanina nung nag-kumpisal ako at nasabi ko ang mga kasalanan ko...naging arogante ang pag-tanggap ko sa kasalanan ko - alam ko yun. pero ito ako ngayon, nakangiti at sinasabi sa sarili na..."may natutunan ka na naman..."

di ko man masasabi na huling beses na ganito ang pag-tanggap ko sa isang pagkakamali, pero alam ko na darating din ang pagkakataon...

masasabi ko talaga na minsan kailangan lang ng panahon para matanggap ang isang bagay...

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march 25

hhaaayyy!! isa na namang araw na kung saan kailangan kong makipag-laban sa mga bagay na di ko iniisip na gawin. lagi na lang kapag sumasapit ang march 25 ay may nangyayaring masama sa akin. mga pagkakataon na gusto mong gawin ang isang bagay pero di mo magawa kasi alam mo na masama.

minsan kasi nakakainis talaga na may mga taong inaaway ka dahil sa gusto lang nilang sumikat. gusto kong sabihin na - "^%^*& ka!". pero para ka namang walang pinag-aralan di ba? kaya iniisip ko na lang na - "lahat ng tao ay papanaw din!"...

ang hirap ng pakiramdam na ganito kasi alam mo na sa iyo pero wala kang magawa kasi inagaw na sa iyo. tapos, talo ka pa kasi siya yung pinaniwalaan hindi ikaw. ang sssssaaaaakkkkkiittt!

hhhaaayyy! march 25. kailan matatanggal ang sumpa mo sa akin...

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The Principle of the Garbage Truck

in an unexpected moment, you will see how God moves in a mysterious way...

i had a discussion with my team lead and i was totally wrecked. i ended up feeling down and need something get numb. i browsed on some old emails and i found this email from my friend tina....

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy... And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and if you'll let them, they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.

Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't... Believe that everything happens for a reason.If you get a chance, TAKE IT! If it changes your life, LET IT!

it's so funny, it made me feel better. my co-workers know how i feel about a certain issue. but this email from tina made me think that i shouldn't do what i was about to do. God loves me very much for he never let me feel down...

thank you God for giving me the people i have right now...

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uy! ang galing mo aah!

minsan, may panahon na kailangan mong sabihin sa sarili mo na...

"uy! ang galing mo aah!"...

it's not just being proud of yourself. its the way it should be.

so far, i am doing good here in illinois. malamig pero nakakaya naman. hahaha!

mahirap talaga ang buhay ng isang ofw. pero ang masasabi ko lang, masaya din. marami kang natutunan. marami kang natutuklasan. akala ko nung una isang akong inhinyero. nauwi ako sa pagiging programer. at ngayon, hindi lang programer isa na ring taga-luto.

inaamin ko, di ako magaling mag-luto pero buti na lang napag-tyatyagaan ng mga kasama ko yung luto ko! may lasa naman minsan. minsan kulang sa alat. pero ang importante. natututo ako. di ba?

kaya, ang masasabi ko sa sarili ko...

"uy! ang galing mo aah!"...

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first two by two in franklin park

the day started late for me. i woke up around 10 am. we then prepared for sunday mass and then went home. i cooked for lunch – tocino which we bought last saturday in filipino store. it was overcooked and got charred. hehehe.

1.30. i started to get dressed. 1.50. i was waiting for an orange line train in roosevelt. 2.11. i was seating in a metra train going to elgin. 2.59. i was walking to st. gertude. i saw ana. then, gerry. then, bianca. then, angel. then, it’s history. i ended up heading to a place west of franklin park with father eric. i was very nervous and afraid but i know if i am with God who will be against me – also i am with father eric. he can do the job. lol. we started. few failures but we were able to talk to some people who has a good heart. i thought it will be a different experience for this would be my first time in the united states but the only difference is that i am running out of words because i need to speak in english. lol. we ended up in a polish house wherein we were received so well. though they spoke in polish and i could not understand any words from them, i know that we have done our job. good job edward! good job!

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My First “American” Eucharist

This blog entry was supposed to be in Tagalog. However, I was thinking that it is better to be written in English so that my community can understand this if ever they could read this.

I just arrived home from Franklin Park. It was my first time to celebrate the eucharist with my newly found community here in US. The celebration went well. Some of the songs are familiar but some are not. There were also responses that I could not even remember it exists. Anyhow, I do not care if it is an old or a new response. Also, I heard the gospel in three languages. Hahaha! That is something that I couldn’t hear in Pinas. All I care about is the celebration of the eucharist. There was an agape, too. We welcomed the latest fruit of an evangelization. The latest community includes Angel – the son of Jose and Adrianna. I am starting to enjoy my stay here. Though I am extremely shy until now, but I know it will pass by.

I realized how God loves me to have a community which is very supportive and very friendly. I hope I can overcome my shyness.

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isa na namang masayang araw...

isa na naman ito sa pinaka-masaya kong araw. di ako nag-sisisi na binili ko yung weighing scale sa target. naging maganda ang resulta. bumaba yung timbang ko. ang saya!

akala ko tumaba ako pero nabawasan ako ng timbang! grabe...mula sa 154 lbs naging 150.6 lbs na lang. hahahaha! ang saya ko!!!

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ang araw ko

nakakatawa. minsan di ko inaakala na may makikilala kang mga tao na di mo naman kilala pero nagiging concern sila sa iyo. akala ko isa akong gamo-gamo na lumilipad papuntang kabukiran. pero di pala.

galing ako ngayon sa preparation ng community namin kanina. nakakatuwa lang...di ko inaasahan na ganun yung mararamdaman ko. akala ko. akala ko. i-reregret ko ang pagpunta ko sa franklin park. pero so far, masaya naman ako.

di ko alam kung hanggang saan at hanggang kailan. pero alam ko lang masaya lang ako. tama yung decision ko. walk in the way.

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quasi static process

Oh my! Here we go again. I am with my “konyotik” mode once again. John, Jay and I were planning to do a movie marathon in River East 21. But, the rain is falling so heavily and the fog is so thick that we could barely see the streets from our unit. So, what we did was to watch the movies that John and Jay have downloaded. My Best friend’s Girl, Iron Man, Enchanted and Superhero Movie are some of the movies that we have watched. From an unknown source of humane spirit, we watched a Filipino movie entitled – A Very Special Love. Yes. You are correct – by John Lloyd and Sarah. I fell in love with the movie last year because of a very light theme and fresh team-up between two stars. This time, I did love the movie once again. Specially this part (sana nakuha ko ng tama yung lines nilang dalawa) >>

Migi: Did I ask you to love me?
Laida: No.
Migi: So, stop acting like I need to love you back.

So, right now, I was thinking if I should undergo a quasi-static process. Quasi static process is a thermodynamic process which often ensures that the system will go through as sequence of states that are infinitesimally close to equilibrium – they are typically reversible. Galing yan sa wikipedia. And that process may take a very long time because one should agree with the other. The other should be in equilibrium with another – sabi nga sa definition. I don’t know if I make sense at all – pero sa akin lang, JD should agree with me siguro. Haha! Nag-name-drop pa ako! Anyways, I don’t know if she’s really it is how I think but sa tingin ko ay tama ako. Hahaha!

My other co-worker maybe right - di pa talaga siguro ako nakakapag-move on ng husto. Nahihirapan akong mahalin yung sarili ko kaya I did not open myself to other people. Hhaay! Life parang love. Hirap intindihin. Kailangan pa ng dictionary to know what is right or wrong.

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announcement of lent

ang saya. nakarating ako sa announcement of lent sa st. gertrude parish (franklin park, il). nakarating ako ng maayos. 6 pm pa lang nakarating na ako. pero sabi nga ni carlos - "you know that we dont start on time.". una ko nakilala si marcelino from joliet. akala ko nung una siya si carlos siya naman akala nya ako si carlos. nagkataon na parehong carlos yung hinahanap namin. hehehe...pinakilala nya ako sa mga responsibles ng community nya. sila yung nagturo sa akin kungs sino ang tunay na carlos. ang saya lang, kasi ang dami nyang pinakilala sa akin pero di ko natatandaan lahat. nagsabi agad ako kung anong oras matatapos ito kasi ang concern ko ay baka wala nang train akong masakyan. ang ginawa nya, pinakilala nya ako sa mga taga-chicago at dun ako pinasabay. si marc ang naghatid sa akin pauwi. nakakahiya man pero nakauwi ako ng safe.

salamat sa mga taong naging maayos ang pag-trato sa akin...

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